This is nothing to do with money or business but it is a peek into my life and one of the reasons I do what I do.
A Letter To My Daughter
I love you more than I can ever describe. I would lay down my life for you. I want to protect you from any hurt and let you keep that beautiful perspective you have on people and life. You (and your brother) are my whole world.
I love seeing the world through your eyes. I love your lightness, your joy and the way you just love unconditionally. You have taught me more than I can ever teach you. You changed my life in the most beautiful way. You made me brave. You brought up my biggest fears and you helped me deal with them and you have absolutely no idea that it happened. You were only 8 weeks when I nearly lost you, my whole world changed over the next couple of years.
You bring joy to everyone who meets you. I can’t explain it but you make people feel better. A hug from you is one of the greatest gifts in life, you wrap your little arms around my neck and just pour love onto me. I am the luckiest girl in the world.
I always wanted to be your Mum. Even when I was your age, my only dream was to be a mum. I remember looking after a family friend’s little girl whose name was Chloe when I was 8 (our parents were playing badminton). I knew then that I would have a daughter named Chloe, I had forgotten about this until you were 4 and when that memory came flooding in, it was such a joy to remember it. We have always been destined to be together.
I pray continuously that I won’t fuck you up. That I won’t pass on my fears, that I won’t pass on limiting beliefs. That I won’t scare you with truths of the real world but at the same time I don’t want you to be shocked by what you might find out there in the big wide world. I hope you will always know that I am doing the very best I can to be the best Mum I can be.
I home school you. I made this decision for your brother because school did not work out well for him. I hope I have not made the wrong decision for you. You could have gone to school, you used to be excited about it but then you saw your brother’s life and it was far more fun than school looked to be so how could I not offer it to you too. I believe you love home school now but if I have made the wrong choice for you, I am sorry. I did it with the best intention as I do with all the decisions I make. Some you might never understand but I hope you will love me all the same.
I want you to have the best life possible. Sometimes you look at me with sad eyes and ask me to stop working and play with you. Oh my darling, you have no idea how much I would love to play with you all day, every day but I also want you to have choices. I want you to be able to go to the best secondary school should you wish to, to University if you choose. I want us to make memories on family holidays around the world, like we did in Australia. I want money to be able to pay for medical care should you ever need it, to create savings for your first house, your first car. So sometimes I must work. I am lucky enough to love my work and I hope that one day you understand that it is ok for mummies to work, it is especially great if they get to do something they love.
You don’t realise it yet but the fact I work from home and you are home schooled means we have so much more time together than we might have done. We are beyond lucky to have that. One day you will see.
One day you will grow up and go out into the world and I pray you never lose who you are. You are brave, you know yourself, you are fiercely independent and yet beautifully soft. Your love will heal the world of that I am sure. You will light up people’s lives. You say you were born to dance; I think you were born to love but it will always be your choice.
I hope no one ever hurts you. I will do my best not to crush anyone who does but it will be hard. You are so precious, I hope people will always see that and honour it.
I want you to live a life that makes you happy. I want you to make choices that feel good to you. I will love you always, never doubt that. I will back you in any choices you make and I will ALWAYS be here for you, even if you make choices I don’t understand. I will do my best not to interfere in your life but yet I want you to be sure that my arms are always here for you. You will never be alone. Even when I’m gone from this Earth know that I will be with you. In you and Charlie, I found home, that will never change
If you ever want to talk about anything I will listen, just like I do now. You can talk for hours about all sorts, your chatter is the most wonderful sound. Even when I tell you to be quiet because its 9pm and you should have been asleep for hours, know that I miss you in the silence.
I watch you sleep, you are beautiful and you have no idea of your magic. You are so still and peaceful, it is like medicine to see you there. The most brilliant sound is when I hear your footsteps in the morning. I know I might not want to get up at 6am but knowing that we have been blessed with another day together is the best feeling. When you get in bed with me for our morning cuddle, I could burst. What a joy to start my day in that way.
You are just getting into make-up (blusher and lip balm) and having your nails painted. You are only 5 so this came as a bit of a shock, especially as I have never been a big make up wearer and I only got to grips with painting my nails last year. I never really did this with my mum so I’m loving learning all about it with you. We’ve both got make up bags now and I never dreamed I’d be contouring 😉
I am eternally grateful that you and Charlie chose me to be your Mum. I love you both to the ends of the Earth. Trust in that, always. Be brave my darling, make bold choices. Live a life that is true to you. When you come across people who want to put you down and hurt you, know that it always about them and never about you. You are perfect just as you are. You don’t ever need to be anything different to please anyone else. Honour yourself. The right people will always love you as you are and your strength and light will make sure that the right people stay in your life.
You will fall in love and you might get your heart broken, but it will heal. Follow your heart, it won’t lead you wrong. Your intuition is strong; you can count on it. Always choose the path that lights you up, the thing that brings you joy. Life isn’t meant to be hard, don’t let anyone try and tell you that. We always, always have a choice. Do not worry if the choices you make are different to everyone else.
I believe we can write our futures into existence. I did and you inspired that. You are my biggest inspiration and given that you are only 5, that’s pretty good going.
I love you darling, always and forever,